their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
