smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
