It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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