Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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