you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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