don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
