no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We are two peas in an std pod
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
