I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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