Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You are the jesus of drinking
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
