just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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