if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
