at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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