Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
