I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
