Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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