I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
