So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
