So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
