i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
