being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
