thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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