and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
