Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
