I should be sponsored by Trojan
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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