All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
