I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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