I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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