i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
