We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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