I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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