dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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