I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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