The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
