We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
