You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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