I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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