I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
