At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I think people are normalizing furries
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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