no, he came in my armpit
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my shit smells like andre
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
