Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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