haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
