Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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