Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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