i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
