yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
