im about as happy as oj after his trial
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
