Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
