can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
