I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
