we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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