Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
