Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
