spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
